A Dim Light in a Dark Place

Packing for trip

2011-06-06T07:37:00.004-04:00

Today is packing, last minute laundry, shopping, etc. Scotland, here we come!

Scotland, here we come

2011-06-04T10:06:00.003-04:00

Claire and I leave for Scotland in three days. I intend to keep this blog updated with daily notes from our trip.

If I had a Twitter account...

2011-03-10T06:43:00.002-05:00

Sitting in my quiet-time chair, typing on my new [used] Toshiba netbook - purchased to use on my June trip to Scotland - spending some quiet time in prelude to meeting my Accountability partner for coffee at the Rexall Grill in Duluth.

Ah see, that's much longer than 140 characters. Twitter cannot contain me!

What makes America the greatest

2010-12-14T20:26:00.002-05:00

“I think it’s quite natural that Americans – all of whom feel that they could have been President if they wanted – like to read about that ultimate fulfillment.”
- Edmund Morris, author of a three volume biography of Theodore Roosevelt, quoted in Time Magazine, November 29, 2010

What is it that’s different about America? What is it that makes us feel that we’re the best nation on the planet? Answers like Freedom and Liberty come to mind. But also more subtle ones like adherence to the rule of law, application of law equally to all citizens, jealous guarding of property rights (think how a loss of property rights would impact the economic choices of investors in America).

Here’s a quote that may point to an underlying cause of the unconscious ‘buy-in’ we Americans have toward out Constitution in particular, and our Country in general. I’ve heard it said that non-Americans can have respect toward America and her people while simultaneously vilifying her leaders. That stems from other countries’ history of a separation between the populace and the leadership. But here in America our government is of, by and for the people. So we have a much more personal stake in government, both local and national. Our stake is not only in the consequences that fall on us from government action or inaction, but more importantly a sense of ownership in the government. It’s almost like a parent-child relationship, where we citizens are the parents and our children-leaders have left the nest to go into the big world. We cheer them on and suffer with them in their defeats. If we were the children and leaders the parents, would we care so much about their accomplishments? No, it’s because we see them as our creation, our responsibility, that we have so much invested in their successes and failures.

The feeling of responsibility is quite natural: we have voted them into office. We are responsible for them. And what parent doesn’t struggle with the desire to step in and do for his child what his child needs to do for himself? But this feeling seems to go beyond a parental responsibility. I find, therefore, a truthiness to Morris’ statement, and some application of it to my questions at the start of this essay. What nation wouldn’t feel itself the greatest whose citizens all feel they could be the leader, if only they weren’t so busy doing other things?

2010-08-29T14:19:00.001-04:00

These two links provide graphic visualizations (in the form of YouTube movied) of the information in

a) source code repositories: http://code.google.com/p/gource/
b) apache log files: http://code.google.com/p/logstalgia/

The geek in me says "Way Cool"!

Ping

2010-07-17T13:30:00.003-04:00

Hello, I'm still alive.

Veritas Google Redux

2009-09-24T13:28:00.002-04:00

Here’s a sobering testament to the state of our society. The resulting hits from a Google search on:

“Jesus is Man”: 4,370,000 hits
“Jesus is God”: 246,000 hits

I wonder how many hits I’d get on “The Spiritual decline of America”?

Summer Walking in Farmland to be Developed

2009-06-30T13:25:00.004-04:00

I can see the flat space, framed by Oaks, where
a house was stood. I can see the line of Hibiscus, where
a lane was run. I can see the Pecan, where
a swing was swung.

I will return in the fall, to gather fruit
from the neglected Apple tree
in the forgotten orchard.

Our Yearly Snowfall

2009-03-02T09:35:00.002-05:00

We had our first [/only] snow of the year yesterday. So schools are closed today. We made a snowman in the front yard (sorry, no pic available yet). Our neighbors, childless, made a snowDog in their front yard.

Gas Prices: $1.369 per gallon!

2008-12-13T08:08:00.002-05:00

I am having trouble believing it - I paid $1.36 for gas last night at a Kroger gas station. I feel a bit guilty about gloating, but it just feels so good. :)

Matthew Chapter 9, verse 36

2008-11-07T15:32:00.002-05:00

"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."

Harassed and Helpless - that's what we are. We are Powerless in this world. That's because were fallen flesh in a fallen world. We're helpless to overcome it. That's why we need Jesus - to overcome the world for us.

I grew up with cows and sheep. I must say that sheep are stupid. As a teenager, I felt nothing but contempt for them. I didn't feel compassion for sheep. Sheep will do the wrong thing, go the wrong place - it's maddening. But I did learn that you cannot yell at or bully a sheep to do the right thing. Now a cow you can yell at, and out of fear she'll go the right way. With cows you can motivate them with either carrots or sticks. For sheep, the sticks just don't work. They get all upset and become self-destructive. Yelling at sheep doesn't work either. You need so be patient, calm and confident. You cannot rush sheep. But they will follow you if they know your name and trust you.

And isn't that how we humans are? The stick of the law didn't work for us. We just couldn't follow it to righteousness. We need carrots. We need love. When Jesus sees us, he sees sheep, and feels compassion. He is the Good Shepherd. He will lead us to green pastures.

Yet in my humanness, since I see sheep and feel contempt, I project that emotion on to God. I assume that when he sees me, harassed and helpless, wallowing in the same self-destructive sin again and again, he sees me with contempt. But the Truth is that God sees Jesus, not me. And Jesus sees me with compassion, not contempt. It takes a lot for me to overcome my inate prejudice and believe Jesus actually has compassion for me. I feel shame at my actions. I don't want Him to see them. But he sees and doesn't shame me. He loves me.

So back to the verse: & tie it in with the Celebrate Recovery concept of Powerlessness. I am powerless over my addictions, over my hurts hangups and habits. But instead of feeling shame over this, all I need do is accept that I am a sheep. Normally this would be scary - I wouldn't want to be a sheep out in this world. The world is mean & dangerous. But we have a shepherd. A Good Shepherd - one who calls us by name, etc. And so we can submit ourselves, as sheep, to the shepherd. We can follow his voice. Our alternatives are all self-destructive: we can flail about in panic, damaging ourselves and all around us. Or we can try to fight back against the world - we can gang up with others to fight off the wolves. Can you imagine a group of sheep out in the wild, surrounded by wolves? Can you imagine someone hands them some sticks & rocks and says "come on, fight for yourselves, you outnumber the wolves"? It's ludicrous. So why do we think we can take on the world in our own strength? It's not even a matter of us fighting along side of Jesus. It's a matter of us getting safe behind him, and letting him fight the wolves for us. As a sheep, there's no other way for us. We're just not made for fighting wolves. A right understanding of our relationship to God means we would willingly and gladly get behind Jesus. No sheep would step in front of the shepherd and say "don't worry, I'll fight off this wolf for you". And there's no shame or embarrasment in that.

And yet, there's this lie I keep hearing - a lie about how it's my responsibility to fight the wolf. A lie that I'm less of a man if I'm not able to fight the wolf. A lie that there must be something wrong with me if I'm not able to fight off the wolf. A lie that I'm scared or chicken or weak and that I let others fight for me because I'm a coward. So I need to embrace, instead, the Truth: I am a sheep. I am helpless and harrassed. I am not made for fighting wolves. Jesus is my shepherd. He is made for fighting wolves. My job is to get behind Jesus and be a sheep. And since I am a sheep, I will feel no shame at being one. I will instead be grateful that I have a shepherd.

Election Day

2008-11-04T07:13:00.003-05:00

I've given thought & prayer over today's votes. I'm still not clear on the specific votes I will be taking, but one thing is clear: God is Sovereign. Period. So no matter who wins the presidency, and no matter who 'controls' Congress, we need to come to grips with the fact that God's Will is done. That should influence our attitude toward those who assume office in January.

Veritas Google

2008-10-28T10:22:00.003-04:00

I Google, and Google sets me free.

Results of some Google Searches, 10/20/2008:

gray: 193,000,000
grey: 183,000,000

potato: 45,700,000
tomato: 41,300,000
eggplant: 9,320,000 - I wouldn't have thought it so high

mccain obama: 110,000,000
biden palin: 21,100,000
mcpalin obiden: 5570
mcbiden opalin: 6

saddam: 25,500,000 - more than biden/palin!
paris hilton: 60,200,000 - that's just shameful

bush nuclear: 3,830,000
bush nucular: 3,810,000 - sad or
bush nuculer: 3,740,000 funny?

Gwinnett County Commissioner Primary July 15

2008-07-03T10:07:00.002-04:00

Last evening we had a visit from Gwinnett Co. District 1 Commissioner candidate Bruce LeVell. He's the first candidate to come door-to-door to our house. I was pleased an impressed. One thing I took away from our conversation was that Duluth is still a neighborhood run by small-town politics: everyone knows everyone else. It reminds me of back home in Pine Bush, NY. Just that here, the scale is bigger - what with a million people in Gwinnett Co. now.

Rebuilt Ropeswing

2008-06-16T09:22:00.011-04:00

Thanks to my friends, Frank and Kristin Hoffman at http://www.knot4fun.com/, I rebuilt our rope swing over the weekend. I used a swing hitch to secure the rope to a Sweet Gum branch which overhangs our back yard.

I used solid braid, multi-fiber (polypropylene, nylon, polyester) rope, 7/16" diameter (purchased at Home Depot). This has a working load of 300lbs, so I doubled up the rope. I tied a swing hitch at the top, and secured the loose end with a stick so it cannot work out of the knot. I then used overhand knots on the rope all the way down so that the kids can climb up the rope.

At the seat, I use a 2x4 with a single hole drilled through the middle. Thread the rope through the hole & tie an overhand knot under the seat bottom so the 2x4 rests on that knot. I leave a little 'tail' on the rope that I can use as a handle when giving the kids a big push on the swing.

I chose my rope so that it won't stretch with age or use, nor will it shrink after a rain. The swing is about 13 feet high off the ground.

Alkaline Battery Recycling

2008-06-11T15:05:00.002-04:00

File this under 'you would think it not so hard'.

I cannot find any place to recycle my spent Alkaline Batteries. Just the regular old Duracell AAs. The best I could find is that the local Whole Foods takes them, but not at this location. But he has heard of the Big Green Box program, and people are asking him to get one for this store.

Excellent reading on Autism

2008-05-13T15:06:00.002-04:00

I'm currently reading a book, With the Light: Raising an Autistic Child, written by Keiko Tobe. This is Japanese manga - a right-to-left reading graphic novel. It is an excellent depiction of the struggles faced by families with disabled children, specifically with Autism.

I found myself getting emotionally caught up in the struggles of the parents to raise their Autistic son, Hikaru. I identified with many of the issues they fought against, was hurt when they were hurt, and joyful when Hikaru connected emotionally with his parents.

I found my copy at the Gwinnett County Public Library (Duluth branch).

Numbers of Man and God

2008-02-04T10:45:00.000-05:00

The number of God is three. The number of man is four.

God is the Trinity, three-in-one. I visualize this as:

God-Father <-> God-the-Spirit <-> God-the-Son

There is the person of Father, and the person of Son. The relationship between them is the expressed as the person of Spirit. Thus two entities, plus the relationship between them, equals three.

With man, created in the image of God, the two entities are Soul and Body, with the Mind being the expression of the relationship between the two. Then man has an additional relationship, with God, expressed as the Spirit.

God is timeless, existing simultaneously in all time, existing outside of time. But humans are mortal, existing in time. Mortals are in the image of God, operating in a world of three physical dimensions, plus time. Thus our number of dimensions equals our ‘number’ of four.

Perhaps our Spirit is the expression of timeless God into the physical world where time is a dimension: our Spirit is that line segment of linear time that is inhabited by our three-part human nature (soul-mind-body)?

Or here is another picture:

Timeless God is a sphere. Man-in-time is a line, infinite in only one dimension. The intersection of our line with the sphere of God can occur at only a single point. That point is our spirit.

Homo Insensatus

2008-01-30T20:41:00.000-05:00

That means 'Irrational Human'. A play on Homo Sapiens - "wise human".

Here's a thought: maybe the defining feature of human beings is not our great thinking power, our 'rational' superiority to other animals. Perhaps our differentiating property is that of being the only animal to act irrationally.

After all - we seem quite able to describe all other animal behavior as part of a grand scheme to further the species, if not the individual. It seems that only humans act to the detriment of the individual and the species.

And I'm not just talking about acting on our emotions - the bane of economics and policemen alike. I'm talking about our tenacity in believing things like Freewill, the Self, God and the concept of "I" without being able to defend them philosophically. Despite the best efforts of the materialists and determinists out there, most people doggedly believe that they actually have the ability to control events, to make choices from among possible alternatives, etc.

How many other animals, once convinced that something is not possible, will keep trying it anyway?

btw - I found only one other relevant web citation of 'homo insensatus' - that for a 2005 Barnard College roundtable discussion.

Philosophy - Mind-Body Duality

2008-01-29T10:06:00.000-05:00

Warning: Big Thoughts ahead!

I'm listening to a CD now in the Modern Scholar series - Colin McGinn (Rutgers Univ.) speaking about the big issues of Philosophy. It got me to thinking. Here's my take on it all:

The concept of “I” is my Soul. This is the Self. My Self is separate from my body (yes, I’m a Dualist).

A Soul is linked to the body by the non-physical Mind.
A Soul is linked to God by the non-physical Spirit.

My body is a physical entity. In it is the brain, also physical. My Soul links to the body by way of the non-physical Mind, which links at the point of the Brain. Thus the brain is the body’s access point that can accept interface with a non-physical entity. I’m not sure exactly what about the brain enables the interface. I believe that the interface itself must be initiated by the mind, at the direction of the soul. Thus a body/brain could not seek out and adopt a mind. However, once the interface is established, the link is two-way, thus the body can affect the Soul through the conduit of brain-to-mind contact.

This configuration allows that my mind can be separated from my body, which corresponds with various phenomena we see in the world.

Problems to wrestle with:
From whence does the soul come?
Is the soul a one-off? Is it re-incarnated in another body?
Does the soul operate in time or out of it?
Where is the expression of the concept that we are created in the image of God?

Animals have brains, so do they have minds? Can there be a mind without a soul? Animals do not have souls, but do have consciousness. But consciousness seems to be in the mind, as opposed to being in the brain only.

Is it possible that a soul could setup a mind-interface with an animal’s brain? My configuration does leave possible this option. Unless there is something specific about the human brain only that allows the mind-interface to be established with a soul.

So, perhaps, there is another entity at the level of soul that establishes mind-interfaces to the brains of animals. Could this be Gaia? or God himself?

So far I’ve explored the soul-to-body-via-mind connection. What about the soul-to-God-via-spirit connection? How do I draw parallels between the mind and the spirit?

So – Chris Jamison is comprised of the physical body, the non-physical soul and the two interfaces of mind and spirit. I interact with God through my Spirit. I interact with the world through my body: an intermediary between the non-physical soul and the physical world. See, I need some means to bridge the gap between the non-physical and the physical world. Since God, as my soul, is non-physical, no bridge is needed for communication.

Let’s look more in detail at the soul-world link:

My soul connects to the body through the mind. The mind’s contact point in the body is the brain. The Brain is physical, the mind is the non-physical interface to it. The brain is not directly connected to the world either, but connects through the body via Sense Organs. It is also connected directly to the body. So the brain has three avenues of communication:

a) connected to soul via the mind
b) connected to world via the sense organs
c) connected directly to the body

Note what is not said: the brain is NOT connected to the world. Neither is the mind connected to the world.

Let’s take an example: my body tells the brain that it’s thirsty. This is communicated to, or perceived by the mind. The mind directs (wills) the brain to tell the body to look for water. Now the brain directs the body to seek water. How is this seeking accomplished? Through Sense Organs. In the normal case, the sense organs may perceive true water in the world, and communicate that to the brain. In an illusory case, the brain’s message to the sense organs includes a perception of water already seen. In this case, the sense organs feedback directly to the brain with the image supplied. This is a mirage; an illusion. Thus the brain receives the same image, whether real or imagined, of water. But in one case the sense organs perceive real water, while in the other case the sense organs perceive imaginary water. The brain itself cannot distinguish between the two.

In my professional work, as a computer programmer, I often work with systems that have a single processing engine receiving input from a ‘hopper’. This hopper can be fed by several systems, including the processing engine itself. But the input from hopper to processing engine serves data that does not necessarily convey information of its original source. Thus part of my job is to determine if I need to know, within the processing engine, the source of the data. If I do need to know this source, then special steps need to be taken to make sure the source is maintained within the data as it is passed through the input hopper to the processing engine.

In my construction of the mind-body configuration, the body’s sense organs correspond to this input hopper. They don’t perceive meaning or process information. The only take in sensations [from the physical world] and communicate them to the brain. The problem is they can also take in sensations from other inputs (for example, the brain itself). But when problems of perception occur, I believe they are the failings of the brain. It is the brain that applies filters and prior expectations to the input of sense stimuli. This is a good thing, for example, when we shut off the input from ears so as to sleep. We know they are not entirely shut off, since we can hear our children cry out in the night for help, while simultaneously ignoring the chiming of a clock announcing the hour.

Here’s my graphical representation of these ideas…

Text & Image rights reserved by Chris Jamison January, 2008. Usage terms: if you use this, please give me credit, and reference this blog as well as my home webpage: www.mindspring.com/~cjamison. And send me an email, too! I'd like to know that someone found it useful.

Every Season

2008-01-09T09:34:00.000-05:00

On Sunday we sang this song, Every Season, from the album This Mystery by Nichole Nordeman (songwriter & lyricist). While singing it, I was struck by the beautiful rhythm of the lines.

Every evening sky, an invitation
To trace the patterned stars
And early in July, a celebration
For freedom that is ours
And I notice You in children’s games
In those who watch them from the shade
Every drop of sun is full of fun and wonder
You are summer

And even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come
You are autumn

And everything in time and under heaven
Finally falls asleep
Wrapped in blankets white, all creation
Shivers underneath
And still I notice You when branches crack
And in my breath on frosted glass
Even now in death, You open doors for life to enter
You are winter

And everything that’s new has bravely surfaced
Teaching us to breathe
What was frozen through is newly purposed
Turning all things green
So it is with You and how You make me new
With every season’s change
And so it will be as you are re-creating me
Summer, autumn, winter, spring

Beautiful stuff. See her website here to listen:
http://www.nicholenordeman.com/media.aspx

Speaking of Every Season, now is the time of year in Duluth when January turns mild. Every year I have lived here, there is a one to two week stretch in mid-January when the sun is bright and strong, making the days warm (60s). It is ideal weather for pruning the trees and shrubs outside. Soon it will turn cold, grey and rainy for two months.

Blessings!

Welcome from Bullville, NY

2007-12-28T16:58:00.000-05:00

Claire and I are in New York State visiting family between Christmas and New Year's.

Picked up my one-year chip at CR

2007-12-20T09:35:00.000-05:00

Last night I received my one-year chip from Celebrate Recovery at Perimeter Church. I have one year of sobriety from my addiction.

Leadership

2007-12-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

Leadership is necessarily an exercise of authority, but need not be an exercise of power.

My quote, lifted heavily from Eugene H. Peterson's preface to 2nd Corinthians in The Message. Also, see my quotes page.

Status Update

2007-11-08T09:05:00.000-05:00

Currently listening to: Paramore's "All We Know is Falling" album.
Currently reading: Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
Current bible book reading: Deuteronomy in The Message translation.
Current favorite TV show: House - but it's falling in my esteem this season.
Current home project: many, but two main: switch from septic to sewer (hiring that one out) & constructing a home-made vise to use for other projects.
Current internet projects: mind-mapping (Mindmeister, for example) & converting website over to NVU editing.
Current work clients: Manitowoc Crane Group, Sonoco Flexible Packaging

Bridge Building Project

2007-11-01T09:34:00.000-04:00

We've spanned the creek in our backyard with a bridge. The main deck was salvaged from a nearby home - it was an outdoor wheelchair ramp no longer needed. The ramp didn't quite span our creek - 16' wide from bank-to-bank. So I build a rough support of 4x4s - also salvaged from the woods. And then constructed a small 4' deck to span the gap. All the wood is salvaged pressure-treated wood. Home Depot sells cutout lumber for .50 to $2, depending on the length & quality.

The pre-cast concrete footings were purchased at HD for about $6 each.

Halloween Pumpkins

2007-11-01T09:31:00.000-04:00

We carved our pumpkins on the Sunday afternoon before Halloween. Here's a photo of the finished products.

Just Gimme the Fish!

2007-10-16T12:45:00.001-04:00

Sometimes you don't want to be taught to fish, you just want the fish. Sometimes you really don't want to know how to do something yourself, you just want it done. So you ask someone who tries to give you a primer in the subject. No! I don't want to know. Just fix it. Just give me the fish so I can move on to what's really important to me.

In moments like these, even welfare-hating conservatives become handout-seeking liberals. It should teach us to be a little more gracious with each other.

Golf vs. Bowling

2007-10-09T19:18:00.000-04:00

I don't have many rules for life. One is: keep your score in bowling above your score in golf.

Grilling Patio

2007-10-09T19:13:00.000-04:00

Over the past weekend I layed out a small brick patio for us to use when grilling or smoking food outside.

All [new] materials purchased at the Home Depot. Total cost: about $140.

Notice the spiral brick design. I layed that out on Excel first, to get an accurate measurement and brick count.

Verbinate

2007-09-24T14:18:00.001-04:00

verbinate: to create a new verb (usually on the fly).

For example, 'googling' has become a verb meaning 'to employ google's search capability in order to quickly lookup information on a word'.

similar: verbination.

In the same vein:

verbanize: is to employ verbination in the course of your writing or speaking.
adjectivate: to create a new adjective, in the manner of verbination.
adjectivize: to employ adjectivation.

Example: Today while writing a functional specification, I realized a certain warning message could be easily circumvented by the user. By virtue of it being circumventable, it was not a particularly effective aid in controlling the input of data.

And I guess adverbate and adverbize would be applicable in their own way.

So, today I created a new word: circumventable. Feel free to use it! And please pass on verbinate and adjectivate too. I cannot take original credit for them, but googling them doesn't show up too many uses. I think I should add them to wikipedia. Is there something like 'wikiing'? What about those obsessed with getting credit in wiki-world? Are there OCD people going around constantly editing wiki articles for obscure information? Probably. That's something that could become seriously addictive for me. I'd better not start now.

Oh, I cannot help it. I'm going to put in verbinate, verbination & verbanize and adjectivate, adjectivation & adjectivise in wiki now.

Summer's Over

2007-09-16T11:49:00.000-04:00

Remnants of a recent hurricane have brought much needed rain, and much needed relief from the summer's heat and humidity. This morning I drove to church without the air conditioning on! I'm even feeling brief sensations of 'chilly' in the nights and early mornings. I think we're done seeing 100+ degree temperatures for the year.

It's the time for our Gwinnett County fair and in two weeks the Duluth Fall Festival, two events I look forward to all year. We all went to the fair yesterday afternoon. The weather was beautiful, people were there - but it wasn't crowded. We ate fair food - sausage & peppers, corn dogs, funnel cakes, and, new to us this year, deep fried oreo cookies. Delicious.

I got to spend some quality time with the cattle - especially an exhibit of 5 or 6 yoke of oxen. I had a lot of fun talking to them and scratching their necks. Two were very talkative. And my kids got to get up close & personal with the animals I grew up around.

Check one off my life list ;)

2007-08-30T09:59:00.000-04:00

Last night I received a 'chip' for completing my 12-step recover program through Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-based 12-step recovery process for anyone struggling with 'hurts, habits or hangups'. I attend this program at Perimeter Church in Duluth, GA.

It marks the way along a long process for me. Not a point of completion, but a milepost to mark progress along the way. Someday I'll write my testimony and make it publicly available; I'm just not ready yet.

So this is a very good thing. Not something I have always been looking forward to, but a good thing - hence the joke about my life list: Climb Mt. Everest. Check! Sing the National Anthem at a ballgame. Check! Complete a 12-Step Program. Check!

Sometimes you need to laugh to keep from...

God Speaks!

2007-08-16T09:21:00.000-04:00

How does God speak to us?

Many sermons have been preached on this, and there are lots of biblical citings on it. Here's my personal testimony:

God speaks to me through timing and arranging coincidences - what I call godincidences. For example, bringing up the same topic from multiple sources - like in my previous post on forgiveness: a CR lesson, a chapter read, a bible reading from my devotional time, a radio sermon - all coming together on forgiveness. Followed by an 'ah ha' moment that comes from the Spirit within me. That's the holy confirmation that this is from God.

Another way is through answered prayer. Sometimes in the course of prayer I'll offer up a problem to God. I'll invite him into the solution, rather than stubbornly fighting on under my own strength. I'll simply ask for help in forming a solution. And then zap the solution comes to me, all in a rush, in a timing much faster than I could have arranged on my own. And it all makes sense immediately - by revelation rather than by step-by-step analysis.

That's how I know something is given by the spirit: the speed of understanding. All aspects come in parallel, perceived by me at one time and in a whole.

Contrast that with temptations that come from the devil: they are step-by-step analyses of a situation. Somewhere in there is a lie or perversion of truth or deliberate obfuscation of truth. I don't pick up on the lie and believe the final analysis.

Forgiveness

2007-08-16T09:15:00.000-04:00

Last week, our Celebrate Recover topic was Forgiveness. Last night I picked up a book I hadn't read from in nearly nine months. The chapter topic was... Forgiveness.

Last week at CR, someone quoted how bitterness is like a poison you take and hope the other person dies. Last night the quote at the top of the next unread chapter was... resentment is like a poison you take and hope the other person dies.

I get the hint!

In my walk with Jesus, he's taken me to the point where I need to make my amends. This has two main aspects: forgiving those who've hurt me, and asking forgiveness of those I've hurt.

Often discussions of forgiveness swing back and forth through the two aspects, greatly confusing me. So at this point, I'm going to focus on forgiving others for hurts. There are then three groups to forgive: 1) others who've hurt me; 2) God, whom I mistakenly blame for hurting me; 3) myself, whom I need to forgive of past mistakes.

The point is to purge my body of that poison, bitterness and resentment. It's getting in the way of me healing and growing.

Freedom

2007-08-09T09:54:00.000-04:00

My sense of security in an intimate relationship is directly related to my confession of failures, sins, faults and inadequacies. By confessing them [to that person], I remove the anxiety provoked in me by the prospect of their discovery. Once this anxiety is removed, I am free to participate [fully] in the relationship without need to manipulate it. I no longer need to manipulate [people] for the purpose of preventing discovery of my faults. Thus I’m free to focus on the needs of the other person; free to engage my curiosity and join the other person where they are [as opposed to dragging them to where I am].

I am free to disagree without criticizing.
I am free to agree without co-opting.
I am free to postpone without fear of retribution.

Spring

2007-08-06T09:47:00.000-04:00

Grass grows green. New leaves emerge;
And with them the life-new air of spring.
Yet in it I can detect a whiff of Winter’s decay.

Heading North

2007-07-31T08:36:00.000-04:00

I'll be in Shady Grove (Greencastle), PA for a few days working, then a quick visit to New York to see my family there.

Over the weekend, I was working in our back yard, and having fun in the stream with Sam. We've had a lot of rain, so the stream is running strongly. The bed changes every day, bringing in new things to explore. And, of course, there is always broken glass to extract and throw away.

Occasionally I would feel a prick in my right foot's big toe. It would always be in the same spot, seeming like a small stone stuck there. After the fourth or fifth annoyance of this feeling, I examined my shoe (a grey croc). Nothing inside. Underneath I saw a small speck on the sole. I rubbed at it, but it wouldn't come off. I pulled at it - I had a thorn stuck through the shoe and poking out just a little into my toe.

President Emeritus

2007-07-25T08:15:00.001-04:00

If Hillary gets elected, Bill can be President Emeritus. We've never had one of those. I think it sounds better than "roving Ambassador for America".

And, speaking of politics, why don't the Democrats just get on with it and announce that Obama will be Hillary's Veep. Or, maybe the other way around. And then appoint Al Gore as Administrator of the EPA.

On a completely different note, Linda and the kids are in Florida this week on vacation: Amelia Island. Linda found a fishing charter service specializing in serving the disabled community: http://anchorsaweighcharters.com.

Since the kids' bathroom is not being used for a couple of days, I took the opportunity to reset some floor tiles and grout in all the cracks and holes.

Screwtape says "Think"!

2007-07-19T08:01:00.000-04:00

I'm reading C.S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters. Well, listening to the CDs in my car. If you don't know it, the gimmick is these are letters written by a senior demon, Screwtape, to his junior nephew, Wormwood, giving advice about how to corrupt the soul of one man in 1940's England.

At one point, Screwtape acknowledges the risks they face now that their man has become a Christian. So Screwtape advises his nephew to keep the man thinking about God, but don't let him turn it into action. As long as he's just thinking about it, then there's no real harm done.

So that's my take-away: often I get caught up in the thinking (or in the iterative search for perfection of the thinking), and not in the doing. As James says, faith without works is dead. Don't wait until I'm worthy or 'good enough', just step out in faith and be useable by God. My job is to act, and leave the results to Him.

Bumper Sticker I'd Like to Have...

2007-07-17T19:16:00.000-04:00

(especially in Atlanta):

Warning: this vehicle slows for yellow lights, stops for red.

.

De Soto Falls hike

2007-07-17T08:19:00.000-04:00

On Friday, I took a vacation day and brought Sam and Genevieve up to DeSoto Falls, GA. We hiked to the lower falls, then back toward the upper falls. We didn't go all the way up, but the kids did a great job of hiking - over a mile each. We splashed in the water and found flowers, trees and critters.

Although we didn't go there on this hike, I love going above the upper falls to the upper-upper falls, where water cascades over a rounded rock face. I like to sit up there and have lunch. There's also a small, 15 foot or so, fall of water that makes a natural shower. That's a nice refreshment on a hot day. Last summer I was on the ridge above the falls and stumbled into a field of wild blueberries.

Hartsville, SC

2007-07-08T18:38:00.000-04:00

Claire, Alex & I left Duluth this morning after a breakfast of Einstein Bagels and coffee. Well, coffee for me, anyway. Claire tried some and made quite a face :)

They are in Powertime Camp now at Summerton, SC. We had hugs and a few pictures, then I let them be brave kids in front of their friends and bunkmates.

I drove on to Hartsville to start a few days of on-site consulting for my client here. I'm listening to Holly Black's "Valiant" on CD. I'm almost done now - on disk 6 of 6. I'm pretty much caught up in the story now. Next on tap is an CD lecture series on C.S. Lewis' writings.

state of the back yard

2007-07-03T07:44:00.000-04:00

Sunday night we had a big rainstorm come through Duluth. I was home with Sam and Gen. We watched the wind whip trees back and forth while the rain came down in sheets. Yesterday, Linda and Sam walked the yard to survey what damage was done. Our neighbors lost a large tree limb. We suffered nothing as such. Last night I got to walk about as well. Again, Sam accompanied.

I saw where the water had rushed now the hillside, leaving small contour lines of debris as it slowed in its descent of the back yard. In the 'way back', in the stream, the water levels had returned to pre-drought levels. This restored the 'gurgle' to our gurgle waterfall. The stream bed had been scoured here, and filled with deposits of mud, sand and gravel there. Some of our civil construction projects had been washed out or damaged - some paving stones simply floated away.

Sam uncovered a small snake - turned out to be a juvenile red bellied water snake. It was very aggressive. He handled the situation well - was appropriately cautious. I made the snake go away (euphemism).

We walked up and down the stream bed in our crocs, Sam throwing pebbles and me collecting all the new shards of broken glass brought by the water.

This rain was much needed by the trees and plants. We've had a nice mix of frequent soaking rains, as well as this latest deluge. The heavy rains should help with reservoir levels. Now we wait for a break in the rain dry enough to allow us to mow the lawn.

The stream bed in March, 2007:

Questions

2007-07-01T12:28:00.001-04:00

What has captured your attention lately?
What's the best gift you've received lately?

Just some thoughts. No coherence.

//
Today I went to North Point church for the 9:00am service.
Here's Andy Stanley's main point, but I leave off the application:

Attention influences Direction, and Direction determines Destination.

Notice (going backwards) that it's not our intention that determines our Destination. It's our actual Direction. And then, the Direction we take is influenced by our Attention. Our attention can be accidental (something grabbed my attention / someone captured my attention) or it can be intentional: I'm paying attention now, I'm giving my attention to this topic.

Makes me think of Wayne Dyer's concept of Intentional Living.

posting de premiere

2007-07-01T12:03:00.000-04:00

Hello - first blog posting. I'll need to figure out where this fits in my webography.